where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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