your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
