If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
where does the pee come out of this thing
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
