when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
