So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Less talking, more tequila
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
