i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
