dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
