Non-Jews are for practice
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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