had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
