fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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