Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Success! We fucked roommates!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character