Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet