she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.