they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.