the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat