im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
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I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.