I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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