So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize