After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
