i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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