we're blogging at a bar
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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