I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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