I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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