K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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