everyone is single if you try hard enough
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I would ride that face into the sunset
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
