I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like the Real World with babies
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize