I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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