I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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