dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
