rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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