I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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