How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
