so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
