Your tits are I can't wait for
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
