fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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