you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
