At least make sure they are 18
Why
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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