I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
