areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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