I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
