It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
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We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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