his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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