And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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