Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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