yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
