Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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