lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
