Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
