1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
