This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
