is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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