i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
