so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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