it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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