You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
