i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
