well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize