Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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