i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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