What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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