is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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