i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Are we in a gay sports bar?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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