Say something about gay babies.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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